Al Kohallek And The Green Eyed Monster

In Lois Remembers – memoirs of the wife of one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, she writes that the only time she worried about Bill getting drunk was over jealousy. Let her tell the story. “The…incident happened while we had four or five alcoholics living with us at Clinton Street. I was beginning to feel rebellious, since Bill didn’t seem to need me anymore. But one of those boys did. I needed to be needed. So I spent much time trying to help him out of his difficulties. I told Bill about my interest in helping the man, and Bill was most understanding and loving for a long time. But one day a jealous streak struck him, and he ran out of the house to get drunk.Fortunately, either out of habit or by divine guidance, Bill made his way to an AA’s house. There he calmed down. He came home sheepishly, without have gone near a bar. I think this was the only time I ever worried about his getting drunk.” Lois Remembers, page 135, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc

It takes as much or more skill to dis-empower an old habit as it does to build a new useful one. The following is a process for the purpose of replacing the old habit, personal “reality” jealousy, with a new one. Although this is a simple process, it will not be easy. Anything we repeat long enough and often enough will become a habit and when it is overcharged with deep negative emotions, it is likely to turn into part of our personal “reality” and we will get “good” at it. In fact to experience a real change, healing or transformation calls for a full court press. This dis-ease, jealousy is not like taking off a topcoat but more like ripping off our flesh! The physical brain utilizes millions and sometimes billions of cells for each habit. In fact most of the habits we choose to change have a spiritual, mental, physical, emotional and social side. In one way or another all of these areas of the human condition must be addressed if a habit is to be disempowered or empowered. In other words old habits become our "personal reality". This "personal reality" is the way in which we experience our world, real or illusive.

We need to take back the power we have given this old habit, jealousy and empower our new habit with a higher level of energy, perhaps with some real love energy, instead of the sham jealousy sometimes fools us into believing. If you are willing to do whatever it takes to practice this process it will work. Do not begin this process until you have counted the cost. The cost will be a conscious, consistent focusing on empowering the new habit and disempowering the old habit every time it comes into your consciousness. This does imply a real commitment to practice this process for a set period of time, to start with, say 40 days. Half measures avail us nothing. In fact anything less than a total commitment gives us the illusion that we have tried and this process has failed.